61: Conscious Relationships with Anita Cassidy

Writer, Novelist and co-founder of the first Conscious Relationship community, Anita Cassidy talks us through the slow rise of apathy and unhappiness in relationships and what to do about it.

Growing up with her Dad in the RAF she went to 6 different schools and was socialised to be the good girl, get perfect grades and cause no trouble. She hid the secret shame of overeating sweets in toilet-stalls which upgraded to wine as she became an adult. She learned to run away from pain through surface perfection but not having he language to understand feelings or what they may be telling her. A series of fed-up moments acted as her catalyst for change including being so hung over at her son’s Christmas play that all she could think about was trying not to vomit. She ended up giving up drink from one day to the next and began learning to have real conversations and listen to herself. Writing, reading and generally discovering what brought her joy led to the moment, on her 10 year wedding anniversary, where she broached the topic of not being happy in her marriage and wanting to explore new ways of being.

As Brene Brown says ‘When we numb pain we also numb joy’ and we discuss the benefits and challenges of opening ourselves up to pure JOY! Ask yourself, when was the last time you allowed yourself to fully go with the feeling of joy without immediately worrying about something bad happening.

We discuss:

  • How to talk about difficult things when it’s just a whisper of discontent not a shout

  • How to be ok with who you are no matter what other people might think

  • How to create space for reflection

  • How to embrace joy

  • Co-parenting after the conscious relationship conversation

  • How to understand anger and anxiety and what we’ve been allowed to feel as women

It’s a good one! Find information about Anita’s novels, coaching and conscious relationship community at http://www.anitacassidy.uk